Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
