but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
