i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
