if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
