he wants to bone in the snuggie
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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