my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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