I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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