Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think your dad took our porno
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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