i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
