CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
