I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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