Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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