I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
