he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
