I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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