Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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