i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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