$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
