Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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