it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
