i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I supernannyed him into submission
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
