So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
