At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
