I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
