just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
