Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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