i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
