Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
