Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
