kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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