i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
