I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
