in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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