it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
