whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
