I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
