I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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