So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
