the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
