..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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