And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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