I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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