based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I supernannyed him into submission
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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