My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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