One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm at about main and main street
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
