Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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