Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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