I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a beard to bite.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
