Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
