Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
