he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize