when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize