It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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