so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
