I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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