i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just found puke in my bra..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
